tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post4244809236857105096..comments2023-11-03T06:56:05.537-07:00Comments on 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There): No One Wins in CourtGalen Pearlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-59737371598942130232012-02-18T09:29:07.663-08:002012-02-18T09:29:07.663-08:00Katy, How interesting! The focus away from win/lo...Katy, How interesting! The focus away from win/lose is key, isn't it? The skills you are teaching them will set the stage for their teen and adult lives. So nice to hear from you.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-66187858335129544322012-02-18T08:05:05.391-08:002012-02-18T08:05:05.391-08:00I teach Conflict Resolution in my school and love ...I teach Conflict Resolution in my school and love offering my students the chance to come to a resolution that avoids a win-lose situation. Watching the children develop the tools for active listening, compromise and developing understanding always lift my heart. I begin the process with the children; it is a skill that is learned over a lifetime, but it always makes me stop and think about how I react to situations and how to resolve a conflict in a fair way.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06880295170339104548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-60478155718811112192012-02-14T18:30:00.388-08:002012-02-14T18:30:00.388-08:00Alida, I have crossed paths with so many lawyers l...Alida, I have crossed paths with so many lawyers like that. What an inspiration. I am so proud to have been part of the same profession as people like her.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-77800747354650612962012-02-14T18:28:56.505-08:002012-02-14T18:28:56.505-08:00Irving, Thanks for the information about the confl...Irving, Thanks for the information about the conflict hexagram. I love that quote from the Tao Te Ching, too. It really puts things in perspective. You are right about the impact on many professions. We could all focus on professions that bring us together rather than those based on fear and lack. <br /><br />Manzanita, Same to you, my dear!Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-706148071373216882012-02-14T18:24:38.570-08:002012-02-14T18:24:38.570-08:00Annabel, Love the Dr. Phil warning. I'm going...Annabel, Love the Dr. Phil warning. I'm going to mention it in my discussion group tomorrow. Thanks for the idea.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-66165351431407340162012-02-14T12:29:34.640-08:002012-02-14T12:29:34.640-08:00I never thought of the law as a healing profession...I never thought of the law as a healing profession...makes sense though. Our society needs people of integrity to help us sort through that which we cannot do on our own. We work with an attorney who founded the Child Development Foundation that works to eradicate commercial sexual exploitation here in Belize. Her passion is justice for the children here in Belize and we feel honored to partner with her.Alida Sharphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07640849066159985893noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-48254639045387273452012-02-14T12:18:28.460-08:002012-02-14T12:18:28.460-08:00What a girl you are. Happy healing lawyer day and ...What a girl you are. Happy healing lawyer day and Happpy Valentines Day. Love to you.Manzanitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06467261212623663365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-60924829174625568532012-02-14T04:45:52.740-08:002012-02-14T04:45:52.740-08:00Hi Galen,
Great article!
I was struck by this ...Hi Galen,<br /><br />Great article! <br /><br />I was struck by this passage that you wrote:<br /><br />"A successful contract is not one that “wins” in court. It’s one that promotes a good relationship between the parties, that allows them to perform willingly and to receive something they value in return. If the parties end up in court, our adversarial system results in a winner and a loser, but both parties have lost the relationship they initially envisioned, not to mention the practical losses in time and money."<br /><br />The first thing that came to mind for me is Hexagram 6 "Conflict" from the I-Ching.<br /><br />"If a man is entangled in a conflict, his only salvation lies in being so clear-headed and inwardly strong that he is always ready to come to terms by meeting the opponent halfway. To carry one the conflict to the bitter end has evil effects even when one is the right, because the enmity is then perpetuated."<br /><br />Any conflict that is carried out to the end is a loss for both sides. Instead of working together, people become enemies and the potential that could have been from the union is lost. It is such a waste that there are many people in this world who try to win at the expense of others. If we all learned to meet each other halfway, the world would be a better place. <br /><br />I agree fully with you, after you have explained it, that lawyers are meant to heal society. I suppose there will be black sheep in any profession, but lawyers who are fully aware of their responsibilities and have the "right stuff" as you say, have a vital role to play in society. <br /><br />Love the quote from the Tao Te Ching. If we all knew how to live in accord with the Tao, there would be a lot less problems and a lot of professions would be unnecessary.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing this lovely article!<br /><br />Irving the VizierThe Vizierhttp://hanofharmony.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-15777161320083046022012-02-14T02:27:32.055-08:002012-02-14T02:27:32.055-08:00Hi Galen,
Love what you say about how Justice is ...Hi Galen,<br /><br />Love what you say about how Justice is sometimes a sad victor. It's so true. Sometimes we have to accept no one can be the winner or everyone loses. <br /><br />I used to be a bit of a Dr. Phil nut (yes, I'm embarrassed!) but I still remember his warning to people not to be a "right fighter"!Annabel Candyhttp://www.getinthehotspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-48374691159431349172012-02-13T21:29:52.332-08:002012-02-13T21:29:52.332-08:00Cynthia, So glad you had a good experience. Just...Cynthia, So glad you had a good experience. Just between us, law professors can sometimes be divas! Not me, of course!Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-8653303771163464052012-02-13T21:27:56.629-08:002012-02-13T21:27:56.629-08:00Jo, This is especially true in family law. I'...Jo, This is especially true in family law. I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through that.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-15463328815837878182012-02-13T21:26:50.658-08:002012-02-13T21:26:50.658-08:00Nancy, So true that the bad ones make the news. T...Nancy, So true that the bad ones make the news. Too bad.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-82333162744042717012012-02-13T21:07:01.201-08:002012-02-13T21:07:01.201-08:00Wonderful post and nice to learn of your law backg...Wonderful post and nice to learn of your law background. I worked for the dean of the College of Law at a university years ago. It was a great experience and I have such respect for the profession.Cynthia Fox-Giddenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311008272824624550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-10161689688885579252012-02-13T18:23:05.135-08:002012-02-13T18:23:05.135-08:00I've done battle over my grandson......it last...I've done battle over my grandson......it lasted a number of years...and you are right there were NO victors. <br />Everyone of us lost something.<br /><br />xo<br /><br />JoMy Grama's Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114089036939629527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-52892698909739334552012-02-13T12:15:42.708-08:002012-02-13T12:15:42.708-08:00Salma, I agree that our legal system is set up to ...Salma, I agree that our legal system is set up to divide. Living in other countries with different legal philosophies was very enlightening for me.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-68194007382690068882012-02-13T12:14:45.686-08:002012-02-13T12:14:45.686-08:00I like to see that law is part of the healing prof...I like to see that law is part of the healing profession - I agree - you know just like sales people a few bad apples makes the whole society to think all sales people or lawyers, or doctors are bad....<br /><br />Thanks for this new way of thinking of lawyers,<br /><br />Kudos to you,<br />NancyNancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08066884129974460069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-83080353859219394412012-02-13T12:14:02.028-08:002012-02-13T12:14:02.028-08:00Patricia, Two subjective answers, so true. Someon...Patricia, Two subjective answers, so true. Someone said the world is divided into people who think they are right. Ha, I love that.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-52575223276841641712012-02-13T07:15:12.618-08:002012-02-13T07:15:12.618-08:00Healing professions...I never thought about it.
I ...Healing professions...I never thought about it.<br />I think having also worked in the legal field that the line between right/wrong...good/bad is very blurred. I agree, no one wins in court and the legal system is made (or had evolved) to divide rather than connect or build bridges. <br />But there are people who want something good to come from it all...we can bring some humanity to something which more often than not is not humane. Imagine that all lawyers were evil *shudder*.<br /><br />Great post Galen. I will reflect a bit on this as I contemplate my future.Chasing Rainbowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05746554967319501268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-85742535804940617672012-02-12T19:13:20.500-08:002012-02-12T19:13:20.500-08:00I consider myself to be in the healing profession ...I consider myself to be in the healing profession as an Ordained Minister. I work mostly out of kindness and have been accused of being too kind often. I was Ordained to be a minister of JUSTICE and not LAW....but I have often felt like a lawyer along the way. <br /><br />I just wrote a post about marriage and used a quote from Dr. Gottman the marriage expert from the U of Washington...that in a marriage there is never a RIGHT answer just two subjective answers always and without fail... <br /><br />So here I find myself with a dispute about my neighbor's dangerous tree and wanting to do the kind thing and they just wanting to sell off that responsibility as quickly as possible...hmm<br /><br />I will just think sweet, I had dessert at Papa Hayden's bakery yesterday - oh my....still need my cuppa with you :) <br /><br />Thank you for your good words...rabbiPatriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00649391137077220495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-5088035509499075502012-02-12T15:42:40.153-08:002012-02-12T15:42:40.153-08:00Barb, What else have I done? More than you want t...Barb, What else have I done? More than you want to know and more than I want to admit!Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-65293647230264798772012-02-12T15:41:26.706-08:002012-02-12T15:41:26.706-08:00Therese, So true that how lawyers negotiate in man...Therese, So true that how lawyers negotiate in many ways reflects the variety of all us individuals in our daily dealings. We are all parties to agreements all the time. Some of us see how much we can get away with, and others strive to make and honor their agreements with fairness and integrity.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-37098038929044001742012-02-12T11:58:05.517-08:002012-02-12T11:58:05.517-08:00My daughter is a paralegal in a law firm. What is ...My daughter is a paralegal in a law firm. What is unique about this firm is that it represents both sides. It represents the condo owners as well as the homeowner associations. Therefore, it has a reputation as being fair since it knows and sees the points on both sides. I do not know if this is an unusual set-up or not. It makes sense to me! Only one attorney in the group ever goes to court. All the rest deal with arbitration... I think that is the right term.<br /><br />Not crazy about the lawyers who advertise on TV. They always seem out to 'get' the other guy. I have a friend, who at one time worked with a large firm and made big bucks... he chose to move to the circuit? court and now helps those in foreclosure and other real estate problems. Also worked the divorce area. He said it was upsetting when there were children involved.<br />Barb<br />An attorney, judo... what else have you done!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-83019098882896388702012-02-12T10:13:51.438-08:002012-02-12T10:13:51.438-08:00Mikey, I felt so sad when I read your comment. Th...Mikey, I felt so sad when I read your comment. There certainly are lawyers like that, and I have negotiated contracts with more than I care to remember. For a time, I worked with high powered corporate lawyers negotiating major deals, both in the United States and in other countries. They were my teachers and mentors. I learned from them that a fair contract serves my client's interests better than a one sided one, even when my client has the negotiating leverage. If both parties leave the table satisfied that their major concerns have been respected and addressed, they are more likely to perform willingly and well. If disputes arise, and they do, the parties are much more likely to resolve the disputes by negotiation rather than litigation. Furthermore, my client's reputation would be enhanced by tough but fair dealing and would promote good business relations in the future.<br /><br />When I had to negotiate with lawyers like the ones you described, I had to shift to a more adversarial style. Since my client usually had the upper hand, this did not serve their client's interests at all, but they didn't see that. The contracts ended up favoring my client at their client's expense. Also, we walked away from more than one deal because we didn't trust who we were doing business with.<br /><br />Obviously, your guys were successful in terms of money, but that is not the model I practiced or taught. Fortunately, most of the lawyers I dealt with over thirty years in many countries came to the table ready to deal in good faith.<br /><br />I liked The Paper Chase, too! My contracts professor channeled Prof. Kingsfeld!Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-67117696424878964042012-02-12T10:00:39.231-08:002012-02-12T10:00:39.231-08:00I've worked in law firms for over 6 years as a...I've worked in law firms for over 6 years as a trainer. And I have to agree with Galen that there are the good and the bad and that lawyers are just as human as you and I and come in the same variety of "flavors". Very interesting post and hopefully it will inspire all of us to exercise goodness, kindness, and justice in all of our daily dealings whatever they might be. Thanks for your wisdom, Galen!! As always, a pleasure to read! :)Therese Kay Creativehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09366538788045990338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-4973746825905265492012-02-12T09:42:56.889-08:002012-02-12T09:42:56.889-08:00It does say a lot, doesn't it? As a lawyer, I...It does say a lot, doesn't it? As a lawyer, I was struck by how far down the list justice is!Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.com