tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post8902608465303314597..comments2023-11-03T06:56:05.537-07:00Comments on 10 Steps to Finding Your Happy Place (and Staying There): Righteous UnforgivenessGalen Pearlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-11795967333262745282011-08-18T15:29:40.525-07:002011-08-18T15:29:40.525-07:00Beth--I have to remind myself of that often. Than...Beth--I have to remind myself of that often. Thanks for commenting.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-22834780695048850172011-08-18T14:52:29.692-07:002011-08-18T14:52:29.692-07:00This is so true--the only one who really gets dest...This is so true--the only one who really gets destroyed when I hold resentments is myself. Inspiring and challenging thoughts, thanks for sharing!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13156048755652103073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-41490923622613476712011-08-18T11:13:21.324-07:002011-08-18T11:13:21.324-07:00Bonnie--Age helps some of us soften and let go, do...Bonnie--Age helps some of us soften and let go, doesn't it? Then for others, they seem to dig in and grow more bitter. As you say time is too short! Thanks for commenting.<br /><br />Sandra--You are right about the timeline. However, choosing to have that aspiration is something that we need not delay. If we can hold onto the aspiration, forgiveness will come in its own time. Thanks for your insight.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-45985825777930735462011-08-17T12:39:39.031-07:002011-08-17T12:39:39.031-07:00Forgiveness is such a tricky topic, Galen. I appr...Forgiveness is such a tricky topic, Galen. I appreciate how you are delving into all its the nuances including this sense of it being a sweet poison.<br /><br />I find that each grudge has its own timeline. You can't push the river. If I stay with my aspiration to forgive, the grudge gradually loses its power --- but it can take time. I just set my course and keep going in the right direction!Sandra /Always Well Withinhttp://alwayswell.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-105274289801239492011-08-17T10:14:07.904-07:002011-08-17T10:14:07.904-07:00Thank you so much for sharing your childhood story...Thank you so much for sharing your childhood story. Your insights and wisdom are very helpful for those in need. I have been on both sides of righteous unforgiveness and as I grow older I am so much more understanding and forgiving. Time is too short. Thank you for stopping by http://grandmabonniescloset.blogspot.com/ . Have a wonderful week.Grandma Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16962177773337228437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-11529760909921857442011-08-17T04:58:54.496-07:002011-08-17T04:58:54.496-07:00Hi Galen,
I love the quote from your commenter. I ...Hi Galen,<br />I love the quote from your commenter. I also believe in forgiving. When I was younger I would get angry about things and hold onto grudges. I love the term: righteous unforgiveness. I guess that's what you'd call it. Now, I don't get as upset over things and I'm able to put myself in the other person's shoes so, luckily, I'm not carrying any unforgiveness. It also find that after forgiving, forgetting helps too!Angela Artemis/Powered by Intuitionhttp://www.poweredbyintuition.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-9230646667828208552011-08-16T17:51:05.720-07:002011-08-16T17:51:05.720-07:00Evelyn--I'm glad we are in cosmic sync! I fin...Evelyn--I'm glad we are in cosmic sync! I find that often happens, and often with your blog! It's very hard to forgive when we are feeling wronged by someone else's "stubborn" refusal to see things our way! As for my mom, she did have her awesome moments. Thanks for commenting.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-66795162532992665412011-08-16T17:15:40.148-07:002011-08-16T17:15:40.148-07:00I read Patricia's sharing about the woman who ...I read Patricia's sharing about the woman who forgave on Oprah...wow!!<br /><br />I am constantly amazed at how I am tuning into similar stuff and teachings contained in your post at roughly the same time. For the last few weeks, I have to confess to feeling justified anger against someone. But it was only yesterday that I shared a few thoughts about justified anger on my facebook account. <br /><br />Yes, I will admit to it. I have been suffering whenever I think about this person. Its been hard when I have felt that she had been a good friend. But there is nothing I can do if she refuses to talk. She is stuck in righteous anger (which then causes me to feel righteous in my anger too). So I have decided to move on. I love myself and don't want to be hurting myself with anger. <br /><br />Thanks for your post. It made me reflect further about forgiveness. Btw, your mom sounds awesome!Evelyn Limhttp://www.abundancetapestry.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-21953494956803944292011-08-15T16:55:43.648-07:002011-08-15T16:55:43.648-07:00Kenya--So true about how we project our inner turm...Kenya--So true about how we project our inner turmoil on others and then hold them at a distance wtih judgment and unforgiveness. Thanks for your comment.<br /><br />Patricia--I just read an article in Newweek about the brother and sister who survived the attack on their family that was the basis for the book/movie In Cold Blood. Their parents were killed and they were also shot and left for dead. The brother described meeting one of the killers in prison years later while he was there on government business. During their meeting, he forgave the man who had destroyed his family. He described the release and healing that followed. Stories of forgiveness like the one you described from Oprah are so inspiring. Thanks for commenting.<br /><br />restoring--Very insightful comment about how unforgiveness keeps us from knowing what postive opportunities we are missing. Thanks for your comment.<br /><br />Karen--I hope you can find that quote. If you do, please send it along. It's so hard to really "tear it up" and never go back to it. Sometimes I have to keep bringing myself back to that place of forgiveness. Thanks for commenting.<br /><br />LeAnn--Families and close friends are often where our greatest needs are for forgiveness. I hope your family can move towards some peaceful resolution of whatever the conflict is. And certainly, if my words can be of any use, please share them as you wish. Thanks for your comment.<br /><br />Jean--What a wonderful way to describe forgiveness. Thanks for sharing your insight. <br /><br />darlin--I know from what you have written that you have been on a deep journey to change your life and that forgiveness is part of that. I so appreciate your sharing your views and insights about this topic, especially about ego. And I understand what you mean about looking back at how far you've come. Me, too!<br /><br />Nan--Your last sentence describes the benefit of forgiveness beautifully. I have read that last sentence several times. Lovely. Thanks so much.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-3404359245103127572011-08-15T15:50:44.209-07:002011-08-15T15:50:44.209-07:00Thank you for sharing your childhood story; it bri...Thank you for sharing your childhood story; it brings back many memories and the sting of loss, in a good way. Wisdom definitely counts the costs and chooses Love, which keeps no records of wrongs (I Corinthians 13).<br /><br />In "Amish Grace" there's a scene that powerfully impacted me, where a father is comforting his daughter who's pouring out her hurt & hatred. He listens intently and is quiet before gently asking her "how does the hatred in your heart make you feel?" etc. She contemplates, cries and says it makes her feel badly. Can't remember the exact dialog just that scene & it's impact. He shows her the bigger picture and equips her to make a wise choice.<br /><br />Better late then never, am only now learning the folly of unforgiveness/sin, how it is like a monster crouching at the door desiring to consume/destroy that we must master (Genesis 4) because the cost of letting it continue is greater than we can comprehend. Letting go of the past & forgiving brings a breath of fresh air & freedom, a lightness of being to life that’s beyond comprehension…it’s a heart recognition, a knowing,…and worth it.<br /><br />Thanks for reminding us. (:Nanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08503452994102900844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-83798027056755028642011-08-15T14:58:26.922-07:002011-08-15T14:58:26.922-07:00I've read "Which wolf are you going to fe...I've read "Which wolf are you going to feed" in the past, at that point in my life it was exactly what I needed to read. I love that passage. <br /><br />I had a hard time understanding forgiveness while on my healing journey, after all how could I forgive without condoning the others actions? There were some extremely negative actions to say the least. I read something by Dr. Phil which a counselor gave to me, I must say I read it grudgingly because I don't like Dr. Phil, but that's when the lightbulb went off, I had an aha moment. <br /><br />To forgive it not to condone someones behavior, it is to let go of it entirely, it's not mine to keep and I am only giving away my positive energies by hanging onto the matter at hand. Through not forgiving I am hanging onto negative energies and giving my power totally away, the other person who did wrong probably even forgot about it. I would hope not when it comes to something such as rape, I would hope they got some serious psychological help and haven't abused anybody else, but all I can do now is pray for the person. <br /><br />I love the saying, I'd rather be serene than be right, sometimes I have to swallow that foolish pride the ego likes to dole out and forgive, not necessarily forget, but move forward in life. <br /><br />I love your post, once again you've reminded me of where I once was and when you post things like this I can measure how far I've come in my life. Thank you for this Galen!darlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04886502544010479581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-8658726772474539732011-08-15T14:45:41.309-07:002011-08-15T14:45:41.309-07:00I see forgiveness as distancing myself from someon...I see forgiveness as distancing myself from someone elses' failure. What you let go of can't hurt you anymore. Great reminder Galen :-)Jean Burmanhttp://jeanburman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-37097875710519926072011-08-15T14:07:42.980-07:002011-08-15T14:07:42.980-07:00What a powerful words on forgiveness. I will ponde...What a powerful words on forgiveness. I will ponder on these and see where I can forgive a few individuals that I have not reconsiled with. <br />We have a very sad family situation where all that is needed is forgiveness. <br />I hope it is ok to share your thougts on this with them. <br />Blessings to you!LeAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18107717294803352571noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-64359855457273874322011-08-15T13:09:49.459-07:002011-08-15T13:09:49.459-07:00Oh yes to be able to forgive and forget, there is ...Oh yes to be able to forgive and forget, there is a quote by someone that works for me....I like the idea of forgiveness being like a cancelled note, torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one ever again...something like that. Now I'll have to find out who said it too! Thanks Galen this was very worth reading!Karen S.http://twincitiesblather.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-41495080945629512362011-08-15T12:06:02.900-07:002011-08-15T12:06:02.900-07:00Beautifully spoken. Holding a grudge also prevents...Beautifully spoken. Holding a grudge also prevents us from growing in knowledge and in what may have been a positive, and loving relationship with those the grudge includes. It splits families.<br /><br />I am ever so familiar with those ants!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-88570283751781608492011-08-15T10:55:17.834-07:002011-08-15T10:55:17.834-07:00Some of the big things that need forgiveness are m...Some of the big things that need forgiveness are mighty hard - I think I have completed forgiveness and moved on...and that righteousness comes back to bite me....I think I am holding on to 2 things right now that are keeping me from losing weight and balancing my body....and the plantar fasciitis has rendered me still - How can this be so? <br />It is nearly my constant prayer..and hope <br />I saw a woman on Oprah one time, who forgave the woman who drunkenly crashed into her car and killed her daughter and another family member - the victim went on to help heal the driver and support her children...that is so big,,and I feel so small for not being able to completely let go...release....I think this is a big issue and it may need more than a month ?Patriciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00649391137077220495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-75215112608568726452011-08-15T09:40:57.976-07:002011-08-15T09:40:57.976-07:00Hello Galen...I like that last quote about the pri...Hello Galen...I like that last quote about the prisoner being "you". Sometimes looking at others is an easier way "we think at the time" to not have to look at ourselves. But when we make a checklist of things about us (I mean really go into deep unattached perspective about it), we probably can double our list just as fast in regards to unresolved emotions and issues. We set ourselves free when we realize the turmoil is only within. Once we find peace within ourselves, we will also find peace with others regardless of their deeds.Kenyahttp://www.psychicjazz.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-42947994003262613902011-08-15T08:53:07.720-07:002011-08-15T08:53:07.720-07:00Vishnu--Yes, that quote was offered in a comment t...Vishnu--Yes, that quote was offered in a comment to an earlier post this month. It really says it all. Thanks for your comment.<br /><br />Bob--You are right about the power masking weakness. I think it also masks pain. We try to avoid the hurt and pain of whatever happened by staying angry. Thanks for commenting.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-32791555716932839652011-08-15T07:32:50.019-07:002011-08-15T07:32:50.019-07:00"Unforgiveness dries us up inside." says..."Unforgiveness dries us up inside." says it perfectly. That drying process makes us hard and unfeeling toward a person or situation. <br /><br />I agree that holding a grudge gives us a feeling of power or superiority. But that feeling is an illusion and only masks an actual weakness..the inability to move on.Bob Lowryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16843991725692979189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-16373276425927157372011-08-15T07:30:48.935-07:002011-08-15T07:30:48.935-07:00Great quote by Smedes! Forgivness is definitely so...Great quote by Smedes! Forgivness is definitely something we all need to work on. Sometimes it's easier for us to forgive people who we don't know well or acquaintances rather than forgiving people like close friends and family. Power, pleasure and attracting sympathy are all great reasons to not want to forgive but like you point out Galen, we do in fact become the prisoner.Vishnuhttp://www.vishnusvirtues.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-60608759793258479742011-08-14T20:11:01.642-07:002011-08-14T20:11:01.642-07:00Shanda--Thank you for pointing out the connection ...Shanda--Thank you for pointing out the connection between forgiveness and humility. That is very insightful. <br /><br />Patti--Forgiveness is a central theme in the life and teachings of Jesus. Thank you for your comment.<br /><br />Jo--Great comment. Thanks.Galen Pearlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10189831838630645863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-43219225297823396972011-08-14T18:20:04.972-07:002011-08-14T18:20:04.972-07:00Doesn't matter.......Doesn't matter......D...Doesn't matter.......Doesn't matter......Doesn't matter.....and NO it is not worth it.<br /><br />Hugs sweet lady,<br /><br />JoMy Grama's Soulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10114089036939629527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-56823081149815138052011-08-14T17:24:25.645-07:002011-08-14T17:24:25.645-07:00Forgiveness is so important. Jesus said we are to...Forgiveness is so important. Jesus said we are to forgive 70x7 times, which means whenever we are wronged we need to forgive. Unforgiveness is indeed a poison, and we are the ones poisoned when we don't forgive. Thank you for this thoughtful post.Patti Hananhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04275696717600565061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3302107831896769514.post-8237228280100029432011-08-14T17:04:14.649-07:002011-08-14T17:04:14.649-07:00Unforgiveness and anger can make us feel powerful....Unforgiveness and anger can make us feel powerful. I had to think on that a bit and it is true. Choosing to forgive is actually a humbling of ourselves to let things go. I'm glad I read this.Shandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14337476167174497223noreply@blogger.com