I told the story in the last post about seeing a crow repeatedly trying to land on a branch that was too flimsy to hold his weight. I used that as an example of the definition of insanity -- doing the same thing over and over, thinking you’ll get a different result.
This very morning, just three short days after that post, I saw my daughter starting to repeat a pattern that, in the past, has not led to happy results for her. I sighed and sat down at the table with her to comment on this. As soon as I started to speak, she sighed and did a subtle eye roll, but I caught it. This did not deter me. I shared my observations with her...as I have done every time before...and gave her my advice...as I have done every time before...knowing that she would disregard it...as she has done every time before...and already feeling frustrated...as I have felt every time before.
Are y’all laughing yet?
No - smiling sympathetically, maybe.
ReplyDelete"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes." ~Mel Brooks
Habits :-) They make us do what we do..
ReplyDeleteand maybe the fear of what will happen if we do things differently! catch-22 situation, sort of..
You are not alone...I have done this many times myself with my own daughter. The words seem to fall on deaf ears, but I still keep trying with the thought that maybe one day, they will sink in. I guess I'm a crow too. Great post.
ReplyDeleteGalen: That is really funny :) Isn't it just too easy to continue to fall into the same traps? LOL. It really is all about trying to break out of the patterns and realizing when we are just being a crow and trying to land on the same flimsy branch:)
ReplyDeleteAlexia, Aneri, Mitzi, Sibyl--Thank you for your sympathetic comments. It's nice to sense that you are laughing with me and not at me!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree it's funny. However, the breadth of a context matters too. We can do things that did not work for us initially and get successful results because skills increase with practice, situations change, and because WE change (our level of knowledge, awareness, etc.) There's also a random element of fortune involved i.e. timing and luck can alter results.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your child is a real scientist. Experiments must be replicable repeatedly before any result may be considered reliable. She may have rolled her eyes because you are interrupting the process of research. (I'm joking.)
She heard it and I bet she'll think about it! It's SO not cool to listen to mom! Like "Duh"!
ReplyDeleteOh us mothers, will we ever learn? Life would not be so funny - Thank you for sharing this, truly made me laugh out loud
ReplyDeleteMikey--You're right. Studies show that students need to hear something X number of times before they hear it. So you have given me new hope. Maybe the 598th time will be a charm!
ReplyDeleteryoko and Patricia--I guess we will learn not to nag when our kids learn how to listen!
I tried to think of something witty to say on this Galen to make you smile... but I have nothing... It sadly sucks to watch those you love repeat same mistakes!
ReplyDeleteCan so relate to this post Galen :-) I think perhaps that mothers are the exception to the "do what you've always done and get what you always got" rule. This behaviour is kind of expected of us as mothers. What mother could sit by and say nothing when they see the folly of their children's ways? [grin] It's tough. But someone's gotta do it LOL
ReplyDeleteI have always believed in failing your way to success.
ReplyDeleteAverage Girl--True, but I'm learning that I don't have to be sucked into their mistakes. Goodness knows I make enough of my own!
ReplyDeleteJean--It does seem to be part of the job description, doesn't it?!
JJ--Thank you for the bright spot in my day. I am clearly destined for success! I love this phrase and will no doubt borrow it!
I don't even have any suggestions tonight... my 15 year old niece lives with me so I can totally relate! Try to enjoy your weekend, just remember that one day your daughter will remember the words of wisdom you shared with her... as her daughter rolls her eyes at her! lol
ReplyDeleteI posted something...finally, after you nudged me into it :)
ReplyDeleteI have a love for irony, so I'll admit your piece made me laugh. But having been the recipient of many an eye-roll, I can also sympathize. For me, the hardest part of parenting is when I've had to let them learn by their own mistakes.
ReplyDeleteAnyone with a teenage daughter will be able to empathize with this article. It is very funny and sad at the same time. I love how you used the example of the crow trying to land on a branch.
ReplyDeleteHaha…yes I’m laughing. When I was little my younger brother would without reason hit me almost every day. He loved WWF and would try the stunts out with me. Scolding him wouldn’t help, so I would always react back by giving him a slap, or getting into a big fight with him, which he loved. I wasn’t able to stop his behavior, and mom would always take on his side. As I wasn’t able to bring any change in his behavior, I one day did the opposite. I looked at him with a smile when he hit me, and reacted as if he hadn’t done anything. He looked a little bit shocked like, “What the hell is with Sharda?” I was able to stop his behavior by doing the opposite, he gradually stopped hitting me because I had stopped reacting. I think your daughter repeats that pattern, because she doesn’t like you complaining. If you stop complaining, I think that she’ll gradually change her habit. She already knows that it isn’t right what she’s doing…she does it because you’re always complaining.:)
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