It Is Not So

Go to the places that scare you. –advice from her teacher to the Tibetan yogini Machik Labdron

Compassion flows from an open heart. Everything that closes our hearts is rooted in fear. So in order to keep our hearts open, we must sometimes face our fear. We must sometimes go to the places that scare us.

Pema Chodron tells the story of a young warrior who had to battle fear. She did not want to, but her teacher insisted. On the day of battle, the warrior stood on one side, feeling small. Fear stood on the other side, looking big and wrathful. The warrior bowed to show respect and asked fear, “How do I defeat you?” Fear thanked her for showing respect and replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast and get in your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”

Sounds so simple. But when I am anxious or afraid, my instinct is to act, or rather to react. I am tempted to listen to fear and engage on fear’s terms.

In taekwondo, we have to spar. I’m not very good at it. I get anxious even though we are padded up like Pillsbury dough boys and we don’t use full contact, so I know I am not going to get injured. Still, my opponents are always younger and faster. When someone is throwing a kick at me, my instinct is to back away, but my reflexes are not what they used to be, so I usually lose the point. The teacher told me to move forward, toward my opponent rather than away. Surprisingly, the safest place is right up close.

So it is with fear. Move close to fear. In Dune, Paul recites the litany against fear. “Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Sometimes I actually say this to myself. Silly, I know, but it calms me.

A Course in Miracles says that fear and love cannot coexist because fear is the mistaken perception of the absence of love. When we are afraid, we experience separation and loneliness. I find great comfort in this loving passage:

One gently walks with you Who answers all your fears with one merciful reply, “It is not so.”

So when fear is in my face talking fast, I take a deep breath and bow with respect as I look fear in the eye and softly say, “It is not so.”

He who knows how to live can walk abroad
Without fear of rhinoceros or tiger.
He will not be wounded in battle.
For in him rhinoceroses can find no place to thrust their horn,
Tigers no place to use their claws,
And weapons no place to pierce.
Why is this so?
Because he has no place for death to enter.
–Tao Te Ching