Sunday, December 16, 2012

Help Someone


If you’re feeling helpless, help someone.  –Aung San Suu Kyi

I was still hurting over the shooting in the mall here in Portland when I heard the heart rending news of the shooting in Connecticut. And the stabbing of so many children in China. I just sat down and cried. So many people who are in such pain and so full of rage, so alienated and hopeless, so lost in their minds and their souls. They cry out in violence, cutting down innocent children and adults.

There is no sense to make of this. How do we respond? In fear? I read that gun sales are way up. One legislator proposed arming teachers. Would I want my child sitting in first grade with a teacher who is packing heat? Are we moving towards a society in which we pocket our cell phone, pick up our keys, and strap on our weapon as we leave the house to run to the grocery store or drive the car pool to soccer practice?

Do we really think that arming everyone will stop violence? Buddha taught that “hatred never ceases by hatred, but my love alone is healed.” Hate is born of fear. And fear is born of a mistaken belief that we are separate from each other. But we are not. And that simple truth is where any healing begins.

Yet what can I do? I remembered the above quotation this morning. Helpless. Yes, that is what I feel in the face of such random, unimaginable killing. Helpless to protect my children and grandchildren. Helpless to protect any children, for all children are my children. And yours. Yes, I’m feeling helpless. Are you?

Aung San Suu Kyi counsels us, then, to help someone. What can we do? If this violence is perpetrated by people who feel so dissociated from their humanity, perhaps the response is to affirm our shared humanity.

Years ago, a phone company introduced an ad campaign with the slogan, “Reach out and touch someone.” Touch. An affirmation that we exist, that we are connected. So what if we all touched someone? Call an estranged friend. Visit a homebound senior. Thank a first responder. Praise a child. Write a thank you note to a teacher. Help a neighbor. Shake the hand of a veteran. Smile at a stranger. Listen to someone.

We are not helpless. We need not fear. We have the only thing that will ever counter violence. Open hearts.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are mine
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you
When you walk through fire you will not be burned
And the flame will not consume you.
–Isaiah 43:1-2

related post: From the Ashes; Calling for Love

35 comments:

  1. It surely saddened all of us Galen and the worst is that we really can't do anything about it now. But yes, by praying for those who have lost their dear ones and learning to appreciate all that we have today, we can make the world a shade better.

    Thanks for sharing. :)

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    1. Harleena, Something like this does snap up out of our daily thinking routines. Things that seemed so important aren't really. Things we overlook, like reaching out to people, take on an urgency. Thanks for your comment.

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  2. A very powerful message today, Galen. I can imagine what you are going through having had a tragedy so close to home recently. Yes, all we can do at a time like this is to reach to others in love. ♥

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    1. Corinne, Your message was powerful as well. We are going down a dark path in this world, but the light is always there. Thanks for your comment.

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  3. I cried too. And felt totally helpless. And I instantly pledged to get in touch with all those people I love in my life. I also made arrangements to contribute to an additional welfare home in our area. While I practice giving year-around, news like this hurt the heart, and I respond by trying to do something that makes a difference in the lives of those I know. Most of all, I make it a point to say my I love yous. And I tell myself I will let go of all negative feelings and thoughts.

    Hugs. I pray for peace.

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    1. Vidya, I, too, was moved to "speak the blessing" to many people around me, even those who might not be receptive. Keeping the anger and fear out of our own hearts is a powerful gift to the world. Thanks for commenting.

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  4. Hi, Galen...

    One can do both: have open hearts for those who can be reached, and make sure we can defend ourselves, our children, and our neighbors from aberrant or violent people who are beyond being reached.

    No level of open heartedness would have stopped the mall or school murderers at the time that they committed their heinous crimes. A bullet would have.

    The body counts at these tragedies are as high as they are precisely because the people targeted are defenseless. No way do I believe that 26, 27, 28 children and others would have been killed if even one person in the school had been armed for defense.

    As a matter of fact, if it had been a given to these murderers that we "pocket our cell phone, pick up our keys, and strap on our weapon as we leave the house..." chances are high that those murderers would never have dared to brazenly act as they did, would never have been able to act in the knowledge that they were safe from defense while their victims were completely defenseless.

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    1. Alex, You raise some good points. But I wonder... I was thinking about the cold war and the arms race. Escalation of arms perhaps avoided some particular skirmishes. But we lived in constant fear on the brink of disaster. It was when the walls came down, literally and figuratively, that safety increased.

      Even so, I'm not here to argue the merits of gun control (although I do have some opinions about it). After all, the perpetrator in China who harmed so many children was armed with a knife. No matter the weapon, we are living in a culture of violence and detachment, isolation and alienation. Many of the perpetrators were not focused on their own defense. Indeed, they intended to die themselves and did so by their own hands.

      So while I do welcome a renewed resolve in the gun control debate, I think it will result in little change unless we seek a deeper answer to the pain all this violence represents.

      I'm so glad you added your voice to the discussion. Thank you .

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  5. Beautiful post and beautiful reminder. People get so fearful and forget this. Your path is the path of compassion,healing, and true strength.

    Thank you,

    Dan @ ZenPresence

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    1. Dan, It's the only path that makes any real sense to me in this sometimes senseless world. Thanks for your comment.

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  6. Thank you for this, Galen. The call to action to reach out and touch someone is needed. I feel helpless in the face of such tragedies, and I don't have the answers. But we can help someone. We can take that action.

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    1. Tina, I love this quote because it was spoken by a woman who, as the leader of opposition in her country, was under house arrest for years. Some would say that her position was helpless, and yet she has changed the course of her nation and garnered the respect of the world by her selfless desire to help others. Thanks for commenting.

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  7. Beautiful, I agree with all of it. We can't respond with more fear. fear is the problem in the first place. Fear is what causes the mental illness, the violence, the hatred. We need love and compassion and connection.

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    1. Jodi, Fear is such a natural response. None of us are immune to it. But as the warrior learned in the zen story, we can defeat fear by not doing what fear tells us to do. Thanks for your voice of openness and compassion.

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  8. I actually feel more hopeful. It feels to me as if there has been a huge shift in energy to the positive. I'm not sure why that is - it just feels that way to me - and I had the same reaction as you did as far as what we can do. We can be kinder, we can be more present, we can make sure we are paying attention to everyone who comes onto our path and interact with them. Our kind acts make us feel better and also have the benefit of helping someone else. This is how we shine a lot of light into the world.

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    1. Julie, I love your comment about sensing an energy shift to the positive. I hope that is true. At some point, we say enough. I hope that point is now. Thank you for the light you shine into the world.

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  9. Beautiful, Galen . . . and, yes, when we are feeling helpless, we should look around us and see what we can do for others. Random acts of kindness and goodness, I believe, far outweigh the violence and evil in this world. They just don't get the media attention, do they?
    Thank you for this touching reflection.
    Blessings!

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    1. Martha, I keep thinking about the Bible verse when Jesus wept. Surely he is weeping now. Thank you for commenting.

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  10. I agree whole-heartedly with your sentiments, Galen. I love that you quoted Buddha. We need to understand that we are all Buddhas. Does not a killer demonstrate his Buddha nature when he loves his wife, or child? Cheers!!

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    1. bobby, You raise such a good point. We are all children of God, or Buddhas, even a killer. Until we recognize that there is no "them" we are destined to live in separation and fear. Thank you for commenting.

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  11. Galen,
    Hope you are okay in this windstorm? We are all helping out neighbors dig out from the falling of huge branches from a Western Cedar tree which has crushed their garage, but not their cars inside! and taken out most of our fence and side yard. Now it is haling/hailing! and the wind just keeps up - power in and out...
    It does make us feel better and as though we are able to do something. I have written letters to the President, Senators and Representatives about some of the things that we might do to make some whole hearted changes in the way we treat each other - they say the bigger the pile of letters the more influence on Congress. I still feel powerless.

    We are also praying for our neighbor's son in law who will have a cancerous tumor removed from his brain tomorrow - he lives just north of your city, but with all the devastation here, we are working on how to get the neighbors there.

    There is just so much going on in the world right now...why are so many of our youth depressed and angry? Why are so many into drugs and escape?

    I just sat down and watched the documentary HAPPY last night...to inspire my thinking....today dragging branches and chopping wood in the heavy waters and downpour...
    do something and connect...rediscover compassion

    I think this is a foghorn time of life
    Thank you for sharing your good words

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    1. Patricia, It was windy here, too, but no damage in my immediate vicinity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your call to action. I always appreciate your comments.

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  12. When I hear or read responses along the lines of "We should make sure teachers are armed", I realize those reactions are as fear-based as the attitudes that make murder easier by allowing unregulated access to deadly weapons, even to a boy with a "challenged" brain.

    Yes, your response is the most correct Galen. Compassion is never a wrong approach. I also think we can/should act to begin changes in law, to protect everyone from an environment that has become more dangerous than it need be.

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    1. Mikey, Like you, I hope that there are changes in the law that will supplement changes in our hearts. If I need a license representing a certain level of knowledge and skill and judgment to drive a car, seems reasonable that I should have to show some appropriate qualifications to operate a gun. Likewise, if I need to register and have insurance to own a car, seems reasonable for similar requirements to apply to guns. And I don't know that anyone should have access to military type assault weapons, which are not necessary for hunting, sport, or home defense. There must be some solution that honors the Constitution and America's love of guns, and yet is sensible in view of the society we live in now. At least we can hopefully all agree on the compassion part! Thanks for commenting.

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  13. Galen,
    Beautiful blog! It is so hard at times like this to see the love in the world, all the good that is around, all the kindness. I send love and healing to all the families in pain. There, of course, are no words that bring comfort, but a blanket of love sent by all of us may warm a corner of their hearts.
    Hugs
    SuZen

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    1. Susan, A tragedy like this does indeed trigger an outpouring of loving kindness. I like your description of a blanket of love. Thanks for commenting.

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  14. Galen, thank you for your comforting message. You said so many things that I too am feeling but am at a loss to express. I so appreciate your view of the world and your words that cut through the smoke. Here's to open hearts in such a difficult time.

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    1. Yes, here's to open hearts. Thank you for your kind words.

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  15. Galen, this is the message we need to heed. In the times of terrible confusion and rage, only love can provide a healing touch. How my heart cries for the family of each child who lost their lives in this senseless act? It makes me feel so helpless that schools are not left untouched by violence. We don't need guns. Because fear begets fear. We need to look within each one and to think of ways to live with compassion.

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    1. Rachna, You are right that fear begets fear. It is hard not to respond in fear when we want our children to be safe, when we see them in danger. My heart cries, too, for their loss of life and innocence. And for more compassion in this world. Thanks for commenting.

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  16. Galen,this was beautifully written. It is such a sad time for so many. It is not just those children that were killed but the thousands of children that die from hunger in the world today and other violent ways. Our society is getting very scary. What is most sad is that we don't recognize the profiles of those who are killing these children. These are troubled children and we all need to be taught to be more aware of them and how to help them. It's rather complicated. Another sad thing is that the children who lived through this have been traumatized and it will require help for them to deal with it all. I myself can't even imagine losing a child this way.
    I do feel that our Savior, Jesus Christ is the way. I pray for the comfort of his spirit to be around and about them all through their grieving process.
    You scripture said it all!
    Blessings to you and thanks for your timely thoughts today.

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    1. LeAnn, You are right that children are dying and in danger all over the world from many causes. And there are children among us who are hurting now, who have no place to turn, and act out with deadly consequences. Protecting our children, all of them, is a biological as well as a cultural imperative. I share your prayer that the wisdom of the ages will shine a light to lead our souls and comfort our grieving hearts. Thank you for your comment.

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  17. I am happy you can stay positive. Negativity never helps. Selflessness always works.

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    1. JJ, I confess that staying positive right now is more like a repeated cycle into sadness and turning again to the light my spirit guides me to. Keeping an open heart right now hurts, but I know that in that sadness is the vast blue sky where our spirits soar like eagles. Thanks for commenting.

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  18. Galen,
    Truly an inspiring and encouraging post. Never wait to tell someone how much you appreciate them, go the extra mile. Stop and ask, "what could I do to make a difference?" and as you said, "reach out and touch". We are in this boat together. Camaraderie and compassion must be shared. God bless. Have a wonderful holiday.

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