Here is what I now know about clean towels.
You can pile them up and jump in them (at least you can if you are the size of a two year old). You can wear them like capes and run around. You can throw them on each other’s heads and play peekaboo. You can use them as blankets and pretend to go to sleep and then jump up and say good morning. You can hide little toy farm animals in them and then try to find them. You can repeat all of the above with your favorite stuffed animal.
Here is what I learned from what I now know about clean towels.
We limit things with labels. If I label this rectangular piece of cloth a towel, then it serves one function. But when I let go of that label, it can be most anything at all. When I lived overseas, those of us in the expat community realized that many of us were working at jobs that didn’t fit with how we had labeled ourselves earlier. A scientist was an author, a lawyer was a professional development consultant, a homemaker was an expert on local crafts, and a former Playboy bunny was a antiques dealer (no kidding). Those who were having the most trouble getting a job tended to be those who were the most stuck in labeling themselves.
This is especially true when we label something as a problem. I initially labeled my grandson’s towel enthusiasm as a problem because it interfered with my towel folding. When I let go of the problem label, that same enthusiasm became a delight, an opportunity, a gift.
I thought about this today when someone came to me to talk about a challenging situation with a coworker. I saw that she was labeling the situation as a problem (for which she was blaming the other person), so, remembering the towels, I expanded our discussion by dropping the problem label. Before long, she was able to see the other person’s perspective and to see the situation as an opportunity to work together with this person in a positive way. The facts did not change, but she wasn’t stuck by the label anymore and she saw the situation in a different way.
I also got to thinking about how labels divide us. In the United States, an idea initially proposed by a Republican will be ridiculed and rejected by Democrats. Yet before too long, a Democrat will propose the same idea and it will then be ridiculed and rejected by Republicans. It would be funny if it didn’t have such damaging consequences.
So many ways that labels, which can be useful in many contexts, can, in others, lock us down and lock us out. It makes my brain hurt! I’m going to go fold some rectangular pieces of cloth.
Is there a situation or a person (perhaps yourself!) that you are limiting with a label?
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and earth
The named is the mother of ten thousand things
~Tao Te Ching
related posts: Who Is a Terrorist?; Bloom Where You’re Planted
Ah, how children make us see our world so differently and creatively! Your little guy reminds me of Virginia - taking ordinary objects and making "toys" out of them.
ReplyDeleteYou've made such a great point through this example. We DO use labels way too often and it can, indeed, limit us as to understanding someone or a situation. We get stuck! To step back and remove the label certainly is freeing.
Love and blessings, Galen!
Martha, I'm learning a LOT from a two year old! Thanks for commenting.
DeleteAnother enlightening post; I loved it. it is so amazing how creative our grandchildren are. They can change their directions in a Nano second. I will do some thinking about the labels that I may have put on different people or situations. This post is one to ponder.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this one and blessings to you!
LeAnn, You and I are both thinking about the labels we use. There were several times today when I started to see something in a limited way and realized that I could open up my perception to see it a different way. It helped! Thanks for your comment.
DeleteThis post has really made me think today...
DeleteWhat you learned about clean towels made me smile. :-) I enjoyed your insights into how labeling can be limiting and sometimes destructive, too. This has started me thinking about my own labeling habit!
ReplyDeleteTina, It's a fun way to gain wisdom! Thanks for your comment.
DeleteVery true Galen, too many labels, too many limitations. Finding new areas of use for oneself or material items can be very liberating. Seeing possibilities instead of limitations. Pam xx
ReplyDeletePam, I like that--seeing possibilities instead of limitations. Well said. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteThis is so interesting Galen (and you are so lucky to be a grandmother!!) I haven't thought a lot about how labels confine us. We cease to see what's really there, so much of the time, and only see the characteristics associated with the label we've assigned.
ReplyDeleteYou got me thinking!
Lori
Lori, Yes, I am lucky. My grandson gets me thinking, too, in the midst of having fun. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI try so hard to stay away from labels of any kind...and have found through all these years of my life that playing is still the best medicine, in everything we do.
ReplyDeleteKaren, Playing is the best medicine--I love that! Your blog reflects your playful approach to life. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteLove this Galen. It is wonderful what kids can help us see and learn. For me when I have those throw away contrainers that food, etc. can come in. I first look at it to see if the grandkids would what to play with it.
ReplyDeleteI love watching the little ones play with a box. It is amazing what they can do with it.
I agree if we stop labeling things it is like taking blinders off. The sun shine comes through.
Thanks Galen, you made me smile!!
Debbie
Debbie, Yes, boxes! When I was a girl, my dad would bring home these huge boxes from his work that I could play in. I practically lived in them! Thanks for sharing a smile today.
DeleteAt some point your grandson will drape a towel or two over a chair, go underneath and declare he is in his fort.
ReplyDeleteLabels are what we use to help us categorize and make sense of our world. Unfortunately, as you so clearly point out, it also limits us and creates unnecessary conflict.
Good post
Bob, Yes, I remember the fort constructions of my youth. Very fun. You make a good point about how labels help us organize and make sense of our world. They also help us communicate. Like many things, they can be beneficial or harmful depending on how they are used. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI totally agree with you and labels - so why not stand by United States under GOD in LOVE instead of the labels of Democrats, Republicans and Liberals, etc. - you have a movement here my friend.......
ReplyDeleteTaking out the labeling is heavenly and I wish schools would also do it.....
Excellent article,
Nancy
Nancy, Imagine what would happen if there were no political parties. An intriguing fantasy. Good idea about schools. Thanks for your comment.
DeletePowerful thoughts....I can think of a few things I should relabel....
ReplyDeleteKelly, Me, too! Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI'm not much of a labeler myself, Galen, but I do like towels. I usually remove the labels from those, though.
ReplyDeleteMy father just adores towels too, and uses them for everything from curtains to rugs to bedsheets, probably. And the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy suggests that towels are so useful that they are the one and only thing you need to take with you while touring the Universe. I tend to agree. :)
Jennifer, When I was a back to the land hippie, a common topic of conversation was what you would take into the wilderness to survive if you were limited to one or two or three things. I never thought of a towel. If I head out into the Universe, I will definitely pack one. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteThe obvious example to me is: The problem - that really is an opportunity. If you create enough space around a problem, so many pathways to so many opportunities become apparent.
ReplyDeleteBobby, Yes, relabeling a problem to an opportunity changes everything and makes many other pathways apparent. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteYour towels were purchased with an idea of how they might be used. You use them that way. Your grandson uses them other ways. Isn't that great?
ReplyDeleteI often find that my point of view is just that - not a fact, just how I'm looking at something at the moment. As a mediator, my clients are successful when they're able to set aside their point of view, even if just momentarily, to see the other side. Then, sometimes, they can move forward.
Linda, Yes, it is great. I can certainly understand how that ability to shift perspective is essential for successful mediation. I have participated in mediation as well as knowing several folks who are mediators, so I have seen that in action. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteHmmm good food for thought Galen. Now that I reflect on this, I think I'm continuously labeling. As Bob pointed out, trying to organize and sort thoughts. So, with people, circumstances and 'problems' I label them - this is like x,y,z. This is like...
ReplyDeleteI can see how detrimental that can be. Just accepting things as they are without labeling allows more things to be just as they are. And we can enjoy that experience without having lived it previously or bringing up past or conditional responses to how we'd react to the current problem, persons or circumstance.
Vishnu, We all label. Otherwise, communication would come to a standstill. At least verbal communication would. What I learned from the towel episode was that we can sometimes limit our experience by those labels. If we can be aware of them and be able to shift them when useful, then we open up lots of other possibilities.
DeleteAnd you raise an important point that labels can take us out of the present moment because we are experiencing something through our past labels. Dropping labels can bring our attention to the present and allow direct experience. I had not thought of that. Thank you!
And thanks, as always, for commenting.
I absolutely loved your story about your afternoon with your grandson!
DeleteI was a pre-school teacher for 25 years and one of my favorite things to do was to buy a bunch of unusual and sometimes ordinary gadgets from the Goodwill or Dollar Store and bring them to class. I'd dump them on the table and let the kids play with them during the day. Then for our end of the day Circle time each child was able to pick up an article (or two or three) and tell a story about them for show and share.
Some stories were obvious-An upside colander becomes a helmet or an old cord from a land line telephone becomes a snake. Others would make up stories like the magical egg beater that made rainbow bubbles that took you to "My Little Pony" world. Or the little boy who took two spice lids that have holes and made a pair of "spy" glasses! Ah... those were the days! Children don't need labels. Let's learn from them. Take an object and turn it upside down or inside out and truly see the world through a child's eyes!
Betty, I know you were a great teacher! What fun. And what a great way to break out of our labeling habits. Thanks for sharing your story.
DeleteWhat a wonderful lesson from your grandson, Galen! This is something that makes me want to be a kid again. It seems like I tend to rely on my limited way of thinking a lot of times. Thank you for this important reminder! God bless! :-)
ReplyDeleteIrene, Being fully present with a child brings out what is childlike in us, too! Thanks for your comment.
DeleteAbsolutely loved this Galen! What a profound lesson that you learned from towels. Thank you so much for sharing. It's really about changing perspective, isn't it? :)
ReplyDeleteVrndavana, Thank you! And yes, even a slight change in perspective can open up new worlds. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteGalen, this post really made me think today..........Thank you. Wise words as usual.
ReplyDelete