Sometimes Right is Happy

Where did February go? In wrapping up our focus on Step 2 this month, deciding if you want to be right or happy, I posed some questions at the end of the last post about whether it is ever right to be right. Thank you for your excellent comments on that post and on many posts throughout the month.

Here are some final thoughts. It seems that when we explore this issue from different angles, there are two kinds of “right.”

There is the sense of right that is ego driven. This might manifest as self-righteousness, when we believe that our opinion is superior. Our egos might react to actual or perceived criticism with a defensive assertion of rightness. We might want to show off by correcting someone or displaying our knowledge about something. In many, if not all, of these situations, there is an underlying fear – fear of attack, fear of unworthiness, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure. The result is that we separate ourselves from others at the most basic level of our shared humanity. By insisting our our rightness, we cause the very isolation that we fear.

There is another sense of right that is driven by lack of ego. This manifests as integrity, honor, and courage. This is the rightness of the Noble Eightfold Path of Buddhism, the rightness of Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela. This is the rightness of the child who stands up to the bully on the playground, the homeless person who finds and returns a wallet full of money, a parent who admits a mistake to a child, a friend who honors a promise. In many, if not all, of these situations, there is an underlying peace, even joy. The result is that we connect ourselves to others at the most basic level of our shared humanity. By adhering to rightness, we cause the very union that we long for.

Perhaps George Washington was right (!) when he said, “Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.”

Namaste.

PS–And really, y’all know that the toilet paper should roll over the top!