The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. –Rabindranath Tagore
When Bob Lowry wrote on his blog Satisfying Retirement about the surprises he has encountered in his 11 years of retirement, I started thinking about the one big surprise I’ve encountered since I retired less than a year ago. You’ll laugh when I tell you.
I'm surprised that there are still only 24 hours in a day.
I thought that when I retired I would have enough time to do all the things I want to do. I thought that the days would stretch invitingly before me with endless hours to fill up with all those things on my when-I-have-more-time-I’m-going-to list. Here are some of the things from my list.
When I have more time, I’m going to:
–learn a new style of martial arts
–finish my book
–start baking bread again
–spend hours puttering around in the garden
–spend hours sitting in the garden after I’ve puttered
–read as much as I want to
–get serious about learning Chinese
–relearn Thai
–polish my French
–learn some other languages I haven’t even decided on yet
–spend more time in meditation every morning
–write more short pieces for magazines and anthologies
–keep up with my blog
–spend more time with friends and with people I hope will become friends
–cook more often (and better)
–spend more one on one time with each of my kids
–spend as much time as I want with my grandkids
–stay at the cabin more often and for longer periods
–be a better blog friend
–take the dog for more walks
–drink as much water as I should
–reconnect with folks I’ve lost touch with
–organize and deep clean the house and keep it clean and organized
–use more moisturizer
–did I say read as much as I want to
–and have plenty of time left over to just relax and do nothing
Yep, I really thought I would have time to do all these things. But I don't. I still have to make choices. I still have to postpone or let go of things I can't fit in. That is just so wrong. I feel cheated.
I heard someone say recently that lack of time was the biggest obstacle to her happiness. I so easily saw myself in her harried exertions, looking for that elusive peace we think more time will bring. But it won’t. As long as we think the answer to our happiness is out there, in the ticking of the clock, the sweep of the secondhand, the turning of the calendar page, we will always be chasing the shadow of our joy.
I want to be like a butterfly. I want to shift my perception of time to realize that whatever time I have is perfect. I want to enter into the eternity of every moment, blessed by its beauty, grateful for its gifts, humbled by its grace.
Ah, I’m embarrassed by my frantic selfishness in the face of such riches. Time hasn’t changed at all. I’m just greedy for more of it. I may not have enough time for all the things on my list, but I’m fortunate to spend the time I have doing what I like to do. Moreover, I have all the time in the world for the only thing that really matters, loving and being loved.
It’s enough, after all.
He who knows enough is enough will always have enough. –Tao Te Ching
Related posts: Man Plans, God Laughs; Our Treasurest Place
When and if you are fortunate to be loved and able to love ... that's where it's at.
ReplyDeleteFor those who continue to search for love --- I say it can be in any form ... a love of nature, etc. and loved by a g'baby or a puppy or kitten --- will work. Easy to say and hard to do but you have to love yourself first... I annoy the hell outta me.
My heart bleeds for those who have never known peace that comes from loving something other than themselves...
Butterflies are my favorite insect ;) Have you gone to one of the exhibits where you sit amongst the flowers and bushes and have them fluttering all around you? OR the Lorikeet exhibits at a zoo? jeeeez that's special.
My favorite all time thing to do in retirement? listening to my little granddaughter giggle... man oh man
Carolyn, Sometimes I annoy myself, too! I have been to butterfly and lorikeet exhibits. So much fun. My mother was quite fond of butterflies, and I think of her every time I see one. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteMaking lists and keeping score is one of the best tools for success. I cannot imagine any loss but much gain from this amazing list. Best blessings on achieving most or all of it.
DeleteSonia, Thanks for your vote of confidence! I will certainly get some of them done, some are ongoing, and some will have to go by the wayside. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI really love this and I agree with you. I retired 3.5 yrs ago and I have to schedule stuff...at least in my mind. I am doing most of the things I said I wanted to but I still have a few on the back burner. Some say there is always enough time. Well, is there really? There are many people, places, and things we truly love and adore in our lives and each takes quality time. Wishing you heart felt choices.
ReplyDeleteSandra, I like your expression, heart felt choices. That is a wonderful guidepost for me and I will keep it in my mind when I have choices to make. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteOh Galen.....as a retired lady...I can certainly relate to this post......We all have the same 24 hours in the day...it is just what we choose to do with them that makes all the difference.
ReplyDeletexo
jo
Jo, Why didn't anyone tell me I still wouldn't have enough time?! I think all those folks who retired before me kept it a secret. Ha! Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI really like your post today. You hit the nail right on the head. I am always wishing I had more time. I will have to start being thankful for the time I have been given. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, So nice of you to characterize my realization of what everyone else knew (about time) as wisdom. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and say it's all okay. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteHi Galen pearl,
ReplyDeleteYep, we have to appreciate the time we have now. Not only that, we have to take advantage of each minute we have in our lives. We all have 24 hours a day, some use them wisely, other don't. We have to be from the first group. ;) Thanks for sharing
Dia, Yes, I want to be in that first group! Every moment is a precious gift and I don't want to waste it by not being present. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI have found the same thing to be true, Galen. While my "want-to-do" list is no longer a "must-do" list like it was when I was working, it remains too long. My desires out pace my time.
ReplyDeleteSo, I am learning not to worry about it and constantly readjust what makes up my day. I look for ways to cut time wasters, but I don't stress myself about not doing something that particular day. I'll get to it tomorrow, or not.
Bob, You are my role model. I can sometimes get caught up in the stress over what I'm not doing and I miss out on the opportunity to enjoy what I'm doing right now. The things I don't get to, well, then I just don't. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI know this feeling, especially those vacation days we take off just to play catch up, and yet slip farther behind! One thing I appreciate from all of this, is that I have the desire to do and plan goals, and work toward my dreams and clearing the to do's off my list...if I didn't life wouldn't be worth waking up....every morning....
ReplyDeleteKaren, Taking vacation days to catch up. That says it all. And even with vacations that are taken for pleasure, we still do the same thing sometimes. We try to do more than we can in that time period. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteIt's funny to see that we always think "If I had more time, I would do......". We constantly run for more and more. When all lay in the present. If we can enjoy the people we have now, the moment, maybe we are richer than we think we are.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post Galen Pearl that brings things into perspective.Take care.
Marie, So true about being present for the people in our lives right now. That is true wealth indeed. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteOh my "gonna do list" is as long as yours and the time required to accomplish each one is obviously not there.....learning one day at a time sweet Jesus.....that is all I want ....
ReplyDeleteRhonda, One day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. It's really all we have. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteWe are not retired but have a slower pace to our lives now than we did in the states. But, I find that time to get it all done is still an issue for me.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what you said about the importance of investing our time loving others and being loved. That is one simple focus that I think I can handle.
Blessings to you,
Alida
Alida, When I lived as an expatriate in the tropics, I, too, found life moved at a slower pace, with less concern about punctuality. In Thailand, we called it Thai time. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteWow, this post had some great thoughts. I especially loved the one on thought on: "I want to be like a Butterfly......."
ReplyDeleteI can say Amen to your list of things you want to do or thought you could do when you retired. I have a similar list.
Blessings to you for an elightening post!
LeAnn, My mom loved butterflies, so I was especially drawn to Tagore's quote about them. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteBeautiful post my friend Galen!
ReplyDeleteI love this; "I want to be like a butterfly. I want to shift my perception of time to realize that whatever time I have is perfect. I want to enter into the eternity of every moment, blessed by its beauty, grateful for its gifts, humbled by its grace."
Oh the beauty of the moment! The butterfly the dragonfly - you see these beautiful creatures have the word "fly" in them - they know how to fly and from every point of view they see beauty! Oh to live like them is where the happiness comes - from within for they have enough for right now!
Thank you for your words,
I needed these words today,
Nancy
Nancy, You always leave the loveliest comments. I had not even thought about the connection between butterfly and dragonfly. Odd, since I use the dragonfly photo as my profile photo. Thanks for commenting.
Deleteunemployment with no retirement is a totally different story..
ReplyDeleteImportant to have all these lists and desires of things to do.
Ah...I can hopefully contemplate this in my future.
Patricia, You are right. Unemployment is very different from retirement. I know you have been struggling with this for awhile. I really hope there is some relief for you in the near future. Thanks for being such a regular commenter.
DeleteI absolutely loved the image of a butterfly, Galen - spread beauty while you can and don't worry about tomorrow. I'm trying to live in the present moment and be list-free, but it's not always easy, is it?
ReplyDeleteCorinne, List free--that's a concept. I try not to be too list dependent, but I do like my reminder lists. I think what you have hit on is that lists can be judgmental tyrants, ignoring what we have accomplished and berating us for what we haven't. You've given me something to think about. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI am always greedy for more time. I am NEVER bored as I've got plans for projects to last me through eternity. That's not a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteSusan, My daughter asks me a lot if I'm bored. Like you, my answer is always I am NEVER bored. I always have lots to do, and even doing nothing is entertaining. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteHi Galen,
ReplyDeleteI feel it is better that you find that you do not have enough time in your retirement. This certainly beats not knowing what to do with your time and the subsequent problems that arise as a result.
Time really becomes valuable when we find we do not have enough of it. It is the abundance of something that makes it lose its value. As a result, we then to take it for granted. Such is our nature.
I'm glad to know that you know how to keep busy in retirement. That means everything is going as it should. :)
Thank you for sharing this lovely article!
Irving the Vizier
Irving, So true. What a keen observation about valuing what we think we lack. I wonder if there are other ways to look at time. On one level it is a measurable commodity. We schedule our time, get paid for our time, etc. On another level, though, time is more fluid. Some of us have had crisis experiences where time seemed to slow down. Or awakening experiences where time seemed eternal. Whew, makes my head spin. Once again, you've given me something to think about. Thanks for your comment, my friend.
DeleteThis post reminds me of a recent radio program that interviewed elderly people (90+ years old) for any advice they might have to offer. Although they had many individual words of wisdom on different topics, every single one of them stressed that life is very short and we should not waste a moment of it.
ReplyDeleteI say you can't possibly waste time when it's spent doing what you enjoy.
Kara, People who are 90+ years old certainly have an understanding of the shortness of life which is ironic since by any standard, they have had a long life! What better perspective from which to look back and see how it flew by! Thanks for commenting.
DeleteDear Galen ... I have a similar list. In fact, my list is on-going and in an odd way, it gives me strength. I accomplish a lot on it, yet feel happy to see it grow because of all the good things I note in it. I would certainly love the extra hour(s). I would never want to give up my reminder lists.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom, who was sick for years, would often say, when I sat by her side and did my stuff, that I'd have so much time on my hands when she was 'gone'. Besides getting mad at her for even thinking about the 'gone' part, I'd dread the prospect. Well, she did pass on soon after (two years ago) and strangely I found I did not have time on my hands as she predicted. Murphy's law? Maybe. Work filled the time available, although when she was alive, I looked after her as well.
Oddly, real free time is my Holy Grail, and I am fine with it. :-) I think my lists make me feel secure. Your post is beautiful. Hugs, Vidya
Vidya, I can see that you have a good relationship with your lists! Thanks for sharing the story about your mother.
DeleteHi Galen,
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way when retired and had long stretches of time. But as the years went by, my days started to fill up. I took up quilting and had fun making quilts for family and friends. Then I decided to start a blog and try to understand the entire package of blogging which is endless. I can also get greedy for more time, but your post is a great reminder to just enjoy. That is it, just enjoy what time we have.
Cathy, How did you manage to have long stretches of time? That hasn't happened to me yet, but I'm still hoping! I like to quilt, too. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI want to enter into the eternity of every moment, blessed by its beauty, grateful for its gifts, humbled by its grace. - I like the idea of spending time in eternity.
ReplyDeleteAndy, Me too! Especially the eternity of every moment. Thanks for commenting.
Delete