Take a Break!

We all need a little R&R now and then, including my computer. I will not be posting for a short time while we all get upgraded. I'll be back in early August. Thank you so much for reading the blog and I hope you'll be back, too!

The Way of No Way

If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. –Zen Master Lin Chi

That’s a bit startling, isn’t it? Disrespectful to say the least. What could it mean?

As I understand it, the point of this get-your-attention statement is that we should not be imprisoned by our preconceptions or traditions. In the language of the Bible, we should not bow down before idols. The idol is not God. It is illusion.

When I was young, I spent some time as a back to the land hippie. I believed that civilization was irredeemably corrupt and should be abandoned altogether in favor of a simpler, rural life in harmony with nature. Although I was not at all political and would have rejected communism in any form, surprisingly I had a lot in common with Pol Pot and Mao Tse Tung, who sent all the city slickers into the countryside for re-education. However, I would have skipped the famines and genocide.

What I remember more than anything is how sure I was that I was right. That I had the answer. Not just for me, but for you, too. How I disdained the unenlightened urban clods watching TV in their air-conditioned living rooms eating processed food that was made of who knew what, sucking up energy like junkies in their homes and cars. I was an insufferable boor as I looked down my nose and tried to explain to my family and friends what they were missing, literally and figuratively. (Of course, I am writing this on my computer in my comfortable city home. And I might have some Hostess powdered sugar doughnuts for a snack later while I’m watching The Closer.)

We can do the same thing with faith. We can be so sure that our way is the only way. Like Pol Pot and Mao, some people of faith are willing to kill those who disagree. The unbelievers. Or if not kill, then to condemn them to everlasting hell.

Chogyam Trungpa used the term spiritual materialism to describe those of us who are as attached to our creeds as we are to our cars. Who use our faith to fluff up our egos, to compare ourselves to those less fortunate who do not share our spiritual superiority.

Bruce Lee revolutionized martial arts with a new approach that he described as the way of no way. Instead of the set moves and rigid techniques of a particular style, the idea was to use any and all forms of combat as appropriate. No way as way. No limitation as limitation. Awareness unfettered by dogma. Power in the present moment. He killed the Buddha.

On the last page of Oprah magazine, Oprah writes every month about “What I know for sure.” I’m pretty sure that I don’t know anything for sure. But, as Pema Chodron suggests, I am becoming comfortable with uncertainty.

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. –Tao Te Ching

Put on a Happy Face

A couple of times recently someone has asked me what I’m upset or angry about. The odd thing is that both times I was not upset or angry about anything. Apparently I was walking around with a scowl on my face. Perhaps I was just lost in thought, or squinting in the sun, but the impression I gave was not very friendly.

So I have resolved to change my default expression to a smile. For one thing, studies show that when we smile, even if we don’t mean it, the movement of the facial muscles tells our brains that we are happy. Also, I know I look younger when I smile (cheap facelift). And finally, a smile is contagious and makes other people feel better, too.

Hopefully, someone will come up to me soon and ask me what I’m happy about. Or maybe they will just smile back.

Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It’s not your style;
You’ll look so good that you’ll be glad
You decided to smile!
–from Bye Bye Birdie

An Ordinary Day

“What’s up?” “Not much. What’s up with you?” “Not much.”

For most of my adult life, this is not a conversation I could have had. There was always some aspect of my life in upheaval, in crisis, in dramatic transition. Not all of it was bad. Some of the transitions were sought after. But much of it was hard. Kids with special needs, relationships ending badly, foster kids in crisis, moving often, loved ones dying, injuries and illness.

Much of what was hard was hard because I made hard things harder, by trying to control events and people, by trying to make things other than what they were, by never asking for or accepting help, by magical thinking and massive denial, by debilitating guilt and shame.

I used to wish for an ordinary day. A day like any other, when nothing major happened, when there was no crisis to handle. A day that was unremarkable, with no surprises, a day easy to forget.

I had a day like that yesterday. I savored every moment. I delighted in running errands and even going to a meeting. I wanted to run up to people and shake them and say, “Are you having an ordinary day? Do you know how lucky you are?” And I said a prayer for all the millions of people who were having a day like the ones that used to be the norm for me. And for the many more who were having a day much worse than the worst of mine. (On my worst day I had so much to be grateful for if I had only looked at things differently.)

If you had an ordinary day today, then count your blessings.

What’s up? Not much. Thank God.

What's in Your Wallet?

Have you seen the credit card commercials that involve some imminent horribleness that is diverted at the last moment by whipping a particular company’s credit card out of a purse or wallet? Some of them are pretty funny. The commercials always end with the question, “What’s in YOUR wallet?” The message is that if you have that company’s credit card, then it will act as a shield against all sorts of catastrophic disasters.

So I got to wondering what’s in my wallet. My spiritual wallet, that is. What do I carry with me to ward off soul marauding Vikings?

Einstein said that “the single most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” There are variations on this quotation, but I like this one best because it emphasizes the role of decision.

When I was young and knew everything, I wrote a philosophy paper based on the premise that we participate in creating the reality we perceive. In the arrogance of youth, I thought I came up with that idea myself. Well, of course I didn’t. But somehow I knew that I had untapped potential to shape my world.

Sadly, the world I shaped for most of my life was not a kind one. It was a world of mischievous demons lurking in the shadows. Like the lookout in a western, I kept watch by the fire during the night, always on alert, always vigilant. And when bad things inevitably happened, I believed it was because my guard had dropped, because I had failed to maintain control.

Even as I write the words, I shake my head in disbelief that I lived that way for so long. If necessity is the mother of invention, then exhaustion is the mother of major life changes.

I live in a different universe now, a friendly one. I can’t prove that it is friendly. I simply choose to believe that it is. And that choice drives my perceptions and experiences. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

So what’s in my wallet? A credit card of power. Not power over my circumstances, but power over how I interpret them and interact with them. The power of choice.

And guess what. That’s what’s in your wallet, too.

Be Amazed!

When I was in graduate school, one of my professors was visiting from Eastern Europe. He had an often unexpected way of using English. Once in class he instructed us to turn to a certain page “and be amazed!” I don’t remember what was on that page or if I was amazed, but I loved the instruction and it stayed with me. Now I use it with my students. There is always something new to learn and it is amazing.

Sometimes I use the instruction on myself. It is a good reminder to notice the miracles that are happening all around me all the time (A Day of Miracles). The sun came up this morning. Be amazed. Water came out of the shower head when I turned the handle. Be amazed.

It’s okay to be amazed with ourselves. I made my bed this morning. Be amazed. I’m testing for my brown belt in taekwondo next week. Be very amazed.

Even God amazed himself on occasion. “Behold, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs forth. Do you not see it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” –Isaiah 43:19. I love this verse. Like a child delighting in a new accomplishment, God was saying, “Look at what I can do. This is cool!” (I’m no Bible scholar, but I like to think that is what he was saying.)

So let’s go forth today and be amazed, with ourselves and with the world around us. Have an amazing day!

Thought Camping

If you have ever done any meditation, or even just read about it, then you are familiar with the concept of letting your thoughts drift in and out like clouds. In mindfulness meditation, we are taught to focus our attention on our breath and let the thoughts go by without effort – without trying to resist them or hang on to them.

My mind spends a lot of time engaged with its thoughts, in dialogue with endless chatter. “Lost in thought” is an apt description. We all do that. Maybe we are driving along a familiar route and all of a sudden we bring our attention back and wonder where we are. Or we lie in bed at night mulling over things and realize that it is now way past our bedtime and the time for sleep is short.

I just read about “leave no trace” camping. As you might guess, the point is to enter and leave the campsite without leaving any evidence that you have been there. This is like mindfulness meditation. Leave no trace thinking. Let the thoughts enter and leave the mind without any evidence that they have been there.

I do not spend much time in what anyone would call traditional meditation, mindful or otherwise. But I have been trying to move through my day in a more mindful way. Like the Biblical encouragement to “pray without ceasing,” I try to rest my attention continuously in the present. Does that mean I never think? Of course not. I have to think as I’m writing right now, for example. But my thinking is directed and purposeful. It is mindful thinking (in theory at least).

And do I in fact rest my attention continuously in the present? No. My record is probably something slightly longer than a nanosecond. But I persevere. We can train our minds the way we train a puppy, with gentle repetition. And a trained mind, like a trained puppy, is a joy. Pema Chodron tells of getting a delightful card that read, “Sit! Stay! Heal!” That cracks me up.

How many repetitions does it take? Apparently with my mind, an infinite number. But with each repetition, I am reconnected to this moment. And in this moment I find God.

No matter where or how far you wander, the light is only a split second, a half-breath away. –Tibetan Book of the Dead