Yield and overcome
Bend and be straight
–Tao Te Ching
I spent a lovely weekend at my mountain cabin recently. The cabin sits in dense forest just above a rushing creek. On the far side of the creek is a ridge, which keeps that side of the creek in shade for much of the day.
When I’m at the cabin, I spend a lot of time at the creek. I like to have my morning tea sitting on its bank. On a hot day, I stay close to the creek. The water comes from melting snow further up the mountain. The icy temperature creates natural air conditioning above the dancing race of sparkling froth.
Over a year ago, sudden warm weather after a heavy snow flooded the creek. Boulders and trees swept downstream like thundering herds of buffalo. Afterwards, I saw that a birch tree on the far side of the creek had toppled over. It lay balanced on several rocks just above the water, its base hidden in the underbrush by the creek’s edge. Over the winter, it looked just like the other logs and driftwood scattered along the banks.
But with spring came a surprise...
Please click here to read the rest over at MakeGirlfriends. Even though Nancy's blog is MakeGirlfriends, you "boys" are welcome to come along, too!
related post: Bloom Where You're Planted
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Guided Tour
The following is a post from last summer. Since the season of summer travel has begun, I thought it would be fun to revisit the idea of taking someone on a guided tour of our lives. I hope you will share some of your tour highlights in the comments!
This last weekend, I had company from out of town. My visitor was someone who lived across the street from me in Memphis when we were kids. He and his sister were part of a group of kids with whom I played and rode bikes. We had not seen each other since our early teens and had not stayed in touch until last year when our paths crossed in cyberspace.
He now lives in New Orleans, and until this weekend, had never been in the Northwest, which is about as far away from New Orleans in every sense as one can get in the continental US. So for three days, I was his guide, giving him his first impression of the place I have called home for twenty years. I wanted him to see the beautiful scenery of course, but I also wanted him to understand something of the culture here, the inner workings of this city and this region.
Although I never take my life here for granted, being a tour guide for a newcomer gave me the opportunity to look at my home with fresh eyes, to voice what I appreciate about living here, to share my enthusiasm about my life here. As the days went by, I found myself more consciously aware of what was best about the place. Oh, there are faults to be sure, and I didn’t deny them, but I wanted to put my city’s best foot forward, so to speak. And as I did so, I was filled with tenderness and love and gratitude for this community which welcomed me with open arms all those years ago.
It occurred to me that we might awaken this same tenderness and compassion for ourselves by a similar process. If you were going to take someone on a guided tour of your life, what would it look like? If you wanted someone to understand and appreciate who you are, what would you say?
Many guide books include sections on history, culture, places to see, and things to do. A guide book for our lives could include these same sections. What are the significant events in your history? What are your qualities and values that would help someone understand who you are today? Are there any customs or taboos that a visitor should know about? And what are the best things about you, the things you would want someone to be sure to see? Don’t forget that guide books include things to do that are fun! What would someone enjoy most about you?
If you have time and are so inclined, I invite you to be a tour guide for your own life. You could write a guide book or just jot down some notes. Or you could simply think about it. My hope is that a fresh look at our lives in this way will awaken compassion for ourselves. There is a saying that charity begins at home. Compassion does, too. Experiencing compassion and appreciation for ourselves will spill over to others as well.
Enjoy your tour!
Related post: First Date
This last weekend, I had company from out of town. My visitor was someone who lived across the street from me in Memphis when we were kids. He and his sister were part of a group of kids with whom I played and rode bikes. We had not seen each other since our early teens and had not stayed in touch until last year when our paths crossed in cyberspace.
He now lives in New Orleans, and until this weekend, had never been in the Northwest, which is about as far away from New Orleans in every sense as one can get in the continental US. So for three days, I was his guide, giving him his first impression of the place I have called home for twenty years. I wanted him to see the beautiful scenery of course, but I also wanted him to understand something of the culture here, the inner workings of this city and this region.
Although I never take my life here for granted, being a tour guide for a newcomer gave me the opportunity to look at my home with fresh eyes, to voice what I appreciate about living here, to share my enthusiasm about my life here. As the days went by, I found myself more consciously aware of what was best about the place. Oh, there are faults to be sure, and I didn’t deny them, but I wanted to put my city’s best foot forward, so to speak. And as I did so, I was filled with tenderness and love and gratitude for this community which welcomed me with open arms all those years ago.
It occurred to me that we might awaken this same tenderness and compassion for ourselves by a similar process. If you were going to take someone on a guided tour of your life, what would it look like? If you wanted someone to understand and appreciate who you are, what would you say?
Many guide books include sections on history, culture, places to see, and things to do. A guide book for our lives could include these same sections. What are the significant events in your history? What are your qualities and values that would help someone understand who you are today? Are there any customs or taboos that a visitor should know about? And what are the best things about you, the things you would want someone to be sure to see? Don’t forget that guide books include things to do that are fun! What would someone enjoy most about you?
If you have time and are so inclined, I invite you to be a tour guide for your own life. You could write a guide book or just jot down some notes. Or you could simply think about it. My hope is that a fresh look at our lives in this way will awaken compassion for ourselves. There is a saying that charity begins at home. Compassion does, too. Experiencing compassion and appreciation for ourselves will spill over to others as well.
Enjoy your tour!
Related post: First Date
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Quotes of Joy
I’m going to be away from the computer for a few days, so I thought I would invite all of you to share your favorite quotes about happiness and joy in the comments. I will publish the comments just as soon as I get back on Sunday.
I’ll start with a few of my own favorites.
There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. –Buddha
This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. –Psalm 118:24
Oh, be swift to love. Make haste to be kind. –Henri Frederic Amiel
What about you? What are your favorites?
Have a wonderful weekend!
I’ll start with a few of my own favorites.
There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. –Buddha
This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. –Psalm 118:24
Oh, be swift to love. Make haste to be kind. –Henri Frederic Amiel
What about you? What are your favorites?
Have a wonderful weekend!
Sunday, June 10, 2012
A Problem Solver's Problem
I’m a problem solver. For most of my life, I have viewed this as one of my greatest strengths. And it is. Except when it isn’t.
If my problem is that I’m out of clean socks, then I can solve it by doing the laundry. But if my problem is that my son is autistic, then try as I might, and try as I did for years, I cannot solve it. Years of various therapies improved my son James’s life, but they did not cure what I saw as the problem of his autism.
The problem with my problem solving approach in that situation is that I saw his autism as a problem, a problem with one solution which was to make him not autistic. When I couldn’t solve the problem, I saw myself as a failure. So then I had a son who was not “okay” and I wasn’t okay, either.
I’ve come to understand that there are limits to problem solving as an approach to every challenge. As Pema Chodron says, “Problem solving is based first on thinking there is a problem and second on thinking there is a solution. The concepts of problem and solution can keep us stuck in thinking that there is ... a right way and a wrong way.”
Chodron suggests a different approach, one that focuses on “working with rather than struggling against.”
My epiphany regarding this approach came from none other than James himself, who observed one morning, “It’s great to be James!” Wow. James never saw his autism as a problem. He never saw himself as not okay.
Eschewing a right/wrong, problem solving approach to challenges requires a relinquishment of control, a willingness to keep an open mind, a tolerance for not knowing what will happen. And sometimes a humbling of the ego.
I’m still a problem solver. But I’ve learned that my problem solving skills are useful in some situations and not in others. I’m still learning to tell the difference.
Enlightenment is the ego’s ultimate disappointment. –Chogyam Trungpa
related post: Joy in the Morning
If my problem is that I’m out of clean socks, then I can solve it by doing the laundry. But if my problem is that my son is autistic, then try as I might, and try as I did for years, I cannot solve it. Years of various therapies improved my son James’s life, but they did not cure what I saw as the problem of his autism.
The problem with my problem solving approach in that situation is that I saw his autism as a problem, a problem with one solution which was to make him not autistic. When I couldn’t solve the problem, I saw myself as a failure. So then I had a son who was not “okay” and I wasn’t okay, either.
I’ve come to understand that there are limits to problem solving as an approach to every challenge. As Pema Chodron says, “Problem solving is based first on thinking there is a problem and second on thinking there is a solution. The concepts of problem and solution can keep us stuck in thinking that there is ... a right way and a wrong way.”
Chodron suggests a different approach, one that focuses on “working with rather than struggling against.”
My epiphany regarding this approach came from none other than James himself, who observed one morning, “It’s great to be James!” Wow. James never saw his autism as a problem. He never saw himself as not okay.
Eschewing a right/wrong, problem solving approach to challenges requires a relinquishment of control, a willingness to keep an open mind, a tolerance for not knowing what will happen. And sometimes a humbling of the ego.
I’m still a problem solver. But I’ve learned that my problem solving skills are useful in some situations and not in others. I’m still learning to tell the difference.
Enlightenment is the ego’s ultimate disappointment. –Chogyam Trungpa
related post: Joy in the Morning
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Pinocchio's Wish
A boy went to a restaurant with his parents. When the server asked him what he wanted, he ordered a hot dog and a soda. His mother quickly said, “Oh, no, he’ll have the skinless chicken breast with vegetables.” His dad added, “And milk instead of soda.” The boy looked crestfallen. The server paused, then turned to the boy. “Would you like relish on your hot dog?” she asked. After she left the table, the boy was beaming. “Did you see that?” he exclaimed. “She thinks I’m real!”
When I heard this story, I thought about how often I run roughshod over people’s feelings. Not because I’m mean, but because I’m distracted or in a hurry, or because I think I know better.
The boy’s parents were presumably thinking about their son’s nutritional health when overriding his order. But his response goes beyond physical nutrition to nutrition of the soul. Just like the wooden puppet Pinocchio, who wished to be a real boy, we all want to be recognized as real. We want to be listened to. And valued. And cared about.
That server probably didn’t get a big tip from those parents, but, like the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio, she granted the boy’s wish for something more important than a hot dog.
related post: That Man Might Be Jesus
When I heard this story, I thought about how often I run roughshod over people’s feelings. Not because I’m mean, but because I’m distracted or in a hurry, or because I think I know better.
The boy’s parents were presumably thinking about their son’s nutritional health when overriding his order. But his response goes beyond physical nutrition to nutrition of the soul. Just like the wooden puppet Pinocchio, who wished to be a real boy, we all want to be recognized as real. We want to be listened to. And valued. And cared about.
That server probably didn’t get a big tip from those parents, but, like the Blue Fairy in Pinocchio, she granted the boy’s wish for something more important than a hot dog.
related post: That Man Might Be Jesus
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Take Your Medicine!
A cheerful heart is good medicine. –Proverbs 17:22
One spring years ago, I was talking to the child psychologist who worked with my autistic son. I was going over several therapeutic program options for the summer. One option I dismissed quickly by saying, “This one would just be fun.” The doctor leaned forward until he was sure I was paying attention and said slowly and deliberately, “Fun...is...good.”
I guess all those years of training paid off for him, because that was one of the smartest things I ever heard.
Click here to read the rest at Growing Old with Grace.
related post: Fun is Good!
One spring years ago, I was talking to the child psychologist who worked with my autistic son. I was going over several therapeutic program options for the summer. One option I dismissed quickly by saying, “This one would just be fun.” The doctor leaned forward until he was sure I was paying attention and said slowly and deliberately, “Fun...is...good.”
I guess all those years of training paid off for him, because that was one of the smartest things I ever heard.
Click here to read the rest at Growing Old with Grace.
related post: Fun is Good!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Fabulousity Factor
You might not know what that is yet, but I intuitively know that you want to have it! I know this because my intuition has been freed and magnified by reading The Intuition Principle, by Angela Artemis, author of the blog Powered by Intuition.
The Intuition Principle is what connects us to our true spiritual nature. It unlocks our destiny and guides us from the source of our inner wisdom, our global mind or Greater Intelligence. When we live by it, we experience the Fabulousity Factor, where “serendipity and synchronicity are constantly working in your life, producing wonderful coincidences that solve problems or bring answers you need.”
The great news is that this wisdom is innate in all of us. Angela’s book helps us recognize various forms of intuition, expand our own intuitive skills, and apply them in our lives with deep and lasting benefit, to us and to the world.
When I started reading this book, I got chills – no kidding. Angela’s words resonated so strongly that my body vibrated in response. But don’t dismiss this as woowoo magic. Einstein himself, in one of the many memorable quotations in the book, said that our intuition is a sacred gift. Indeed, Angela’s explanation and teaching of the Intuition Principle are impressively grounded in research and science.
But don’t forget the fun! Before I read the book, I understood the connection between intuition and wisdom, but I didn’t understand fully the connection between intuition and joy until Angela explained it. Then is was so obvious. In fact, one of the main benefits to living by the Intuition Principle is increased joy and well-being. The fun starts with a pop quiz to see how intuitive you are. But don’t worry! You’ll see that you already are using your intuition, even when you don’t know it. For example, you might think of someone who then calls unexpectedly, or you make a choice that doesn’t have an obviously rational basis but turns out exactly right. Angela encourages us to view the development of our natural intuition not as a chore but as a great adventure.
So how do we embark on this adventure? The book is chock full of practical exercises and guided meditations. Instructions are clear, and progress can be easily achieved and verified. If you try even some of her suggestions, you will see results. There is no way to fail.
Yet we do encounter blocks to intuition, for example, the need to be right, or the need to control. These jumped out at me because they are also blocks to experiencing joy. These and other blocks are based in fear. Angela gently guides us through steps to acknowledge and release the fear, so that our intuition (and joy) can flow freely.
And once your intuition is flowing freely, it will guide you to your greatest passion, your highest purpose, and your most authentic life. Furthermore, Angela explains how en masse, this will change our world as we evolve from the Age of Technology to the Age of Intuition. As a person still trying to figure out Facebook and my new TV, I can’t wait for that!
So, using my newly developed intuitive skills, here is what I know:
1. You will love this book.
2. It will change your life.
3. After we all read it, our collective fabulousity factor will light up the world.
Click here to buy your copy!
related posts: Falling Away; Mushroom Experience
The Intuition Principle is what connects us to our true spiritual nature. It unlocks our destiny and guides us from the source of our inner wisdom, our global mind or Greater Intelligence. When we live by it, we experience the Fabulousity Factor, where “serendipity and synchronicity are constantly working in your life, producing wonderful coincidences that solve problems or bring answers you need.”
The great news is that this wisdom is innate in all of us. Angela’s book helps us recognize various forms of intuition, expand our own intuitive skills, and apply them in our lives with deep and lasting benefit, to us and to the world.
When I started reading this book, I got chills – no kidding. Angela’s words resonated so strongly that my body vibrated in response. But don’t dismiss this as woowoo magic. Einstein himself, in one of the many memorable quotations in the book, said that our intuition is a sacred gift. Indeed, Angela’s explanation and teaching of the Intuition Principle are impressively grounded in research and science.
But don’t forget the fun! Before I read the book, I understood the connection between intuition and wisdom, but I didn’t understand fully the connection between intuition and joy until Angela explained it. Then is was so obvious. In fact, one of the main benefits to living by the Intuition Principle is increased joy and well-being. The fun starts with a pop quiz to see how intuitive you are. But don’t worry! You’ll see that you already are using your intuition, even when you don’t know it. For example, you might think of someone who then calls unexpectedly, or you make a choice that doesn’t have an obviously rational basis but turns out exactly right. Angela encourages us to view the development of our natural intuition not as a chore but as a great adventure.
So how do we embark on this adventure? The book is chock full of practical exercises and guided meditations. Instructions are clear, and progress can be easily achieved and verified. If you try even some of her suggestions, you will see results. There is no way to fail.
Yet we do encounter blocks to intuition, for example, the need to be right, or the need to control. These jumped out at me because they are also blocks to experiencing joy. These and other blocks are based in fear. Angela gently guides us through steps to acknowledge and release the fear, so that our intuition (and joy) can flow freely.
And once your intuition is flowing freely, it will guide you to your greatest passion, your highest purpose, and your most authentic life. Furthermore, Angela explains how en masse, this will change our world as we evolve from the Age of Technology to the Age of Intuition. As a person still trying to figure out Facebook and my new TV, I can’t wait for that!
So, using my newly developed intuitive skills, here is what I know:
1. You will love this book.
2. It will change your life.
3. After we all read it, our collective fabulousity factor will light up the world.
Click here to buy your copy!
related posts: Falling Away; Mushroom Experience
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