Saturday, January 15, 2011

It's a Dog's Life

The following is an email that has been circulating for awhile – you have probably seen it. As you can see, dogs give themselves permission to be happy every day!

From a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

From a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... Will keep you posted.

I conclude from this that dogs live in their happy place all the time...and cats don’t. So why do some people think that cats are smarter than dogs? More interestingly, why do cats think they are smarter than dogs??

I’m going to have a dog day today.

Take a shower! My favorite thing!
Eat breakfast! My favorite thing!
Do paperwork! My favorite thing!
It’s raining again! My favorite thing!

It’s going to be a great day! My favorite thing!

Reprinted from archives


  1. Wonderful! My dog is always sooooo happy to see me - it always lifts my heart :)

  2. This gives a whole new meaning to "dog days"! It's a good thing to be easily pleased!!

  3. Ah yes my life is complete when always there are dogs in it...but I too have cats! I just love this post, and hadn't ever seen it before, but what a charming and smart cat that put it together! Thank you for brightening my day!

  4. *howling* This made my morning. How true it is. Sadly, I can see one of our cats writing that type of diary. Our dog, everything is her favorite thing as well.

  5. Since I don't like the taste of mice, I must admit I have a dogs life then. Wake, computer, clean alittle, computer, eat, computer, clean alittle more, computer, eat, computer, sleep....or something along those lines.

  6. Galen - This reminds me of my favorite bumper sticker "Wag more. Bark less." Have a wag-filled dog day! --Godspeed, Elizabeth

  7. I'm so pleased y'all are enjoying this post. Like onemixedbag, I think it's hilarious. I'm a dog person and my neighbor has cats, so we both get a kick out of this email that seems to circulate every year or so. Whether you have cats or dogs, enjoy your day doing your favorite things!

  8. I LOVE that!!!! My sentiments exactly!

  9. I have indeed seen this more than once, but it always brings a smile on my face because I am the "mom" to both a canine mutt as well as a "holier than thou" feline. One thing I know for sure- my dog would follow me into the fiery pit of HELL, tail wagging... My cat would stand there, holding the door open :)


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